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"Dirty, filthy, wash-your-mouth-out, gut-wrenching ways to make your brain sing with the sweetest language that will blow the socks off your friends, family, co-workers and all those you need to impress! I swear..."

You f*%^in& c&*t, you heinous putrid lump of sh**, you skanky-a**ed, pi**-breath, co**-sucking bas**rd!

...Okay, now that I have your attention.

Would you like to learn a sweaty basement secret that will unleash the most incredible language genius caged in your mind? Imagine yourself reeling off poems, impacting letters, grabbed-by-the-lapels sales copy, riveting stories. How would you like to bust through your inner editor and speak fluently, passionately, compellingly?

It's my hallucination that your life would be considerably more fun, if you could do all of that. And there's an easy way to break open the verbal brilliance bank. And I swear, it's pure dynamite! Here it is:

Fuck you!

Say it with me. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!

Good. You just made a great start. Already there's a hairline crack in the shimmering shell that surrounds your verbal virtuosity. How do you get inside to all those amazing, good words? You use the BAD WORDS!!!!

Most of us are brought up not to use swear words, curses or obscenities. We don't use them in 'polite company' and we don't use them in the written word. So, over a life time, a certain tension and rigidity builds up in your verbal body which serves to monitor what comes out of your mouth. It acts like a guardian at the gate, the gate being your mouth. It's purpose is to protect you from getting into trouble, from being judged, hurt or embarrassed.

Unfortunately this inner editor of your language is a bit of an uptight fellow. I'm sure you know the type. Fairly anal retentive. And with that 'sphinctorial stiffness', you lose the fluidity of creativity. Whenever things can only be one way, "my way or the highway", you find that creative thinking is severely hampered.

So we want to thrust a stick of dynamite up the ass of your inner editor! And blow that creativity crimper off the beat.

You've probably heard and seen people with Tourette's syndrome? Due to whatever neurological gremlin, the people that suffer this disease have a fairly inconsistent internal editor. In fact, their internal editor keeps having flashbacks to his acid days in the 60's or something, and he's tripping with regularity through the day and....... hot damn, the expletives fly!

Now even though we are going to bust up your internal editor. It'll only be for a time. A time you choose, when you want to break through that rigidity and start to communicate like the free-spirited genius you were born to be.

So here's the bitching plan for freeing up your language and getting verbal velocity to the max:

Get some privacy. In your room; in your office; in your car; in the middle of a field. Wherever you are comfortable.

SPEAK LIKE SHIT
1. Swear out loud. Cuss your head off. Rack your brains for every vulgar expression, dirty phrase, filfty, lewd, obscene word that you can think of. Imagine that you are cursing someone who has double-crossed you and ruined your life. What do you say to that f****r? Imagine that you a construction worker, calling out obscene remarks to some hookers standing next to the site. And what do they say back? Spew out a vile tirade of filth, either in anger or in sexual lust and lewdness.

SPEAK LIKE AN ANGEL
1b. When you have turned the air bluer than a Californian sky, abruptly switch off the vulgarity and just allow your words to free flow. If you have put enough blood and guts into your tirade you should feel a sense of easiness as you continue to speak and ennunciate your words beautifully.

WRITE LIKE PISS
2. Start writing. Write the most vitriolic attack on someone you really hate (Hitler, traffic wardens etc). Really put your spleen into it. Pour your darkest demons onto the page. Alternatively, write the deepest darkest sexual fantasies, spilling your juices with the obscenities you use, the rank explicit vularity and indulgence of it all. If its any good, submit it to one of the erotic literature sites... or burn it and save your good name! Just really pour yourself into it.

WRITE LIKE A POET
2b. When you have scorched the page with the devil's tongue, bless your pen and let the bile go. Take a fresh page and begin to write like a poet. Let your words flow easy as a stream of milk and honey. Write a poem, write an essay, write an article, write your journal. Whatever. Just do it beautifully.

And that's how you break into the word bank. Use these two simple techniques before you speak with anyone or write anything that requires your most fluid, resourceful self.

You're a fucking genius! Now fuck off and prove it!

"Unleash the Bestseller Within!"

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Got Feedback? I'd love to hear from YOU! Email me: wily[at]wilywalnut.com

 

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Wily Walnut: Discover How To Banish The Inner Moron, Shake Off the Dust Of Mediocrity and Discover the Genius You Were Born To Be!



Wily Walnut is the headbrain at http://www.WilyWalnut.com, your top resource for unleashing the genius within, becoming infinitely creative, intelligent and brilliant in all that you do!

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